The ugly truth behind holiday birthdays.

We’ve all heard of the poor kids born on Christmas who never got birthday gifts, but had to make do with socks, and whatever else their parents could spare from the Christmas pile.  I always felt so sorry for those kids.  They didn’t get big parties and lots of birthday presents, but they got to share their birthday with the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus!

I’m here to tell you that your average 10 year old American kid doesn’t care about sharing a date with Jesus.  they care about having a dozen or more shrieking kids who are hopped up on sugar tearing your house apart and traumatizing your cat. They care about Legos and Star Wars and Frozen and Shopkins in BIRTHDAY wrapping paper, not Christmas.  And of course they can’t count as Christmas presents..because duh, Mom.

So I figured as long as I didn’t have a Christmas baby, the holiday/birthday thing would never be an issue.  And then I had one baby that came home from the hospital on the 4th of July and one that came on on Thanksgiving.  Welcome to birthday party scheduling hell.

The 4th of July party?  All of her friends are on summer vacation and are either out of town, in summer programs or camps, going to the 4th of July parade or getting ready for the fireworks.  You send invitations to school in June and hope for the best.  It’s also hot as hell outside and your kid overheats easily, so outdoor party venues are out.  And also red, white and blue themes get old quickly…you can only have so many cakes with sparklers on top.  And despite what your drunk uncle says, passing out sparklers to a bunch of little kids and sending them out back to play is a bad idea.

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photo fireworkssafety.org

 

Then there’s my little Turkey baby.  This year her birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day.  Again, holiday weekend, people have plans and families and parades.  You can try the weekend before or the weekend after, but you still have a kid asking, “Will we do anything at all on my real birthday?”.  I say, “Of course!  In  between starting to cook at 5am, cleaning, decorating, entertaining company and not hyperventilating, we’ll tie balloons to the turkey and OMGWEWILLHAVESOMUCHFUN…wait until we play pin the tail on the turkey!  And bobbing for pearl onions!

And nothing rocks like trying to make room in the fridge for a sheet cake ON THANKSGIVING when you can’t even squeeze one more freaking olive in there.  Or for that matter remembering to pick up the birthday cake from the bakery the day before since they’re closed on Thanksgiving.  And also, no little girl wants brown and orange Thanksgiving decorations for her birthday party.  Ever.  So your slaved-over turkey feast will be laid out amongst Bratz paper plates, hot pink streamers and confetti.

photo bettycrocker.com

I think the turkey cupcakes are adorable, but the kid won’t eat anything with a face on it.

 

 

 

 

Allyson Sorenson

About Allyson Sorenson

Bangor mom. BDN blogger. Volvo lover. Coffee drinker.