O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree..We’re Going To End Up On A Milk Carton.

Today was it….Tree Day.  The day that we decided we’ve had enough of this stupid wandering around in the woods crap bundled up and headed out as a family to find the perfect Christmas tree.  First of all let me state for those of you not here in Maine..it was COLD today.  Lower 20′s and windy.   Spending a great deal of time outdoors in this weather calls for many layers, lots of Kleenex and a normal bladder the ability to assure whining kids that yes, we’re almost done and no, snot freezing in your nose will not kill you.

A couple of weeks ago, posts started showing up on my Facebook buy and sell pages for Christmas tree stands and farms.  Last year we got a great tree from a stand in Brewer, but this year I had seen a few ads for places further off the beaten path..Levant, Newburgh, Kenduskeag and such, about 5 total.  I, idealist that I am…thought it would be swell for all of us to head out together and cut down our own tree.

In the interest of not getting my butt sued, I won’t name which one we went to first.  It was several miles outside of Bangor, about 20 minutes.  Mark’s son had borrowed his truck for a week or so, so Mark had his work van.  Mad & Mark took off in the van and Hal & I followed in the Volvo. (no roof rack on the Volvo)  After getting well and truly into be back of beyond…serious boonies here…Mark pulls over ahead of me and I look over at the supposed tree farm.

wikipedia.org

wikipedia.org

While this is not the real place, there’s not much of a difference.  Mark and I are idling a few yards apart on the shoulder of the road, looking up at this place.  Down by the road are a few trees someone has cut and dragged down.  My phone rings.

Me:  Hello?

Mark:  We are not getting out of the vehicles.  I’m not armed and I swear I hear a banjo playing up there.

Me:  Well, we’re here..can we just look real quick?

Mark:  *click*

All that way for nothing except the possibility of having someone lower lotion to us in a basket.

newsgrounds.com

newsgrounds.com

We pull out and head back to civilization town.   Eventually we were on Union and my phone rang.

Me:  Hello?

Mark:  Hey, we just passed Sprague’s back there, they had a ton of trees outside, want to turn around and go look?

Me:  Done and done.

So to Sprague’s Nursery & Garden Center we went and each tree was better than the one before it.  We spent $35 on the most gorgeous tree, you guys.  And..AND!  Do you know what?  We got Sprague’s Bucks!  It’s their version of Kohl’s Cash to use on an upcoming purchase!  What?  It’s crazy town!  Anyhoo..we had a lot of fun.

Well, maybe not my 11 year old, but I was having fun.  Look..further proof that I have a freakishly small pin head.

Well, maybe not my 11 year old, but I was having fun. Look..further proof that I have a freakishly small pin head.

The tree was chosen after much perusing of the goods and the really nice guy working out in the cold cut the stump for us and bagged ‘er up!

Oooh

Oooh

And we brought it home!

Here's Mark adjusting the tree stand, one of the few things I think we didn't throw away by mistake when we moved.  Birth certificates?  Divorce papers?  Who needs 'em?

Here’s Mark adjusting the tree stand, one of the few things I think we didn’t throw away by mistake when we moved. Birth certificates? Divorce papers? Who needs ‘em?

We got it set up in the perfect spot and got ready for decorating!  What?  What do you mean you can’t find the rest of the decorations?  I didn’t throw those away.  (That’s a lie.  I totally did)  Quick trip to two dollar stores and then got ready for decorating!

Solid and full-figured, much like myself.

Solid and full-figured, much like myself.

We laid out all of the decorations, put them all on hooks, strung the lights and we were off!

Down towards the middle, girls..too many at the top.  (yes, I'm directing from the couch)

Down towards the middle, girls..too many at the top. (yes, I’m directing from the couch)

The kids got sick of my OCD nagging bored after about 15 minutes and wandered off so Mark & I took over.  (Hahahaha..that’s a lie.  I kept directing.  He did a great job)

Don't bunch them up...

Don’t bunch them up…

And finally the finished product.

 

Very pretty, I love it!

Very pretty, I love it!

So that was our big day out.  So much for tromping thru the woods and singing Christmas carols while we find and cut our own tree.  While I’m sure it’s a wonderful experience, (That’s a lie, I hate the outdoors)  I was very happy to end up a few miles away from our house at Sprague’s.  And also very happy not to run into Buffalo Bill  in the central Maine woods.  Something tells me he wouldn’t offer hot coffee and donuts.

 

 

 

 

 

Allyson Sorenson

About Allyson Sorenson

Bangor mom. BDN blogger. Volvo lover. Coffee drinker.